Thursday, April 23, 2009
Anxious Mother's Lament
Housatonic Child Care Center participates in an intergenerational program with the local nursing home; twice a month, the preschoolers take a field trip to Noble Horizons, where they play games, do crafts, and have snacks. It's a great program. This was the first week that Duncan went to Noble Horizons, and I was forced to confront a new anxiety: The Field Trip. As always, I recognize that I am overreacting, but the response is still there. It has been a rare occasion for anyone but Jamie or me to drive Duncan anywhere so the thought of him getting on a bus, even if it's only a 5 minute trip, makes me just a little uncomfortable. Also, Noble Horizons is uncharted territory for me. I know my house; I know HCCC; I don't know anything about the people, the place, or the ins-and-outs of the nursing home. The thought of my child being out in the world supervised by someone I barely know is enough to give me nightmares. How do I know he won't run away or get lost? This week, I pretended not to have these concerns because I don't want to pass my anxiety on to my son, and that effort almost kept them at bay. I know it's fine, and I'm not losing sleep over it. Just don't try to take my child to the big, big, city without me.