4

Duncan turned 4 on March 13. For him, it was the most highly anticipated birthday yet. As his independence has grown so have his opinions and beliefs about such crucial issues as what kind of cake to have, what kind of presents he would like, and whether or not there should be ice cream. Four was a birthday in three acts.

Act One:  When I asked Duncan what he wanted to take to preschool for a treat, he asked for "those red cookies." I am not a crunchy, granola health food freak (yet), but I do draw the line at feeding that much red food dye to someone else's child; I managed to talk Duncan in whoopie pies instead, which I said were the same cookie without the red. This was not exactly true, but this lie will be the least of the reasons he complains about me in therapy when he's 16. In any case, he has begun to enjoy helping out in the kitchen, even if his help primarily consists of dumping in pre-measured ingredients. We had a great time baking the cookies and filling them, and they were a big hit at school.

Act Two:  On the 13th, we made our first venture into Chuck E. Cheese. We had a party there because we needed a venue larger than our house, and it had to be a place where a kid could have a good time. May much time pass before I enter another Chuck E. Cheese, but they fit the bill. In Grandma and Grandpa, John, Melissa, and Anna, Jason and Suzanne, Paul, and Don and Sue celebrated with us in style. It was loud; it was overstimulating; Duncan had a blast. It was a lot of fun to get so many Martins together (first time since August). (I didn't get any decent pictures there because I was so overwhelmed, but this picture is a little flavor of the experience in case you've never enjoyed Chuck E. yourself).

Act Three:  The following weekend, we celebrated with Nana and Poppy, Lorna, Vernon, and Colin in Albany, which was a nice kick-off for our spring break. Duncan had fun playing with new Legos and other toys and especially enjoyed his Mickey Mouse cake.

Epilogue:  I've felt sort of bittersweet about this birthday. It's exciting to watch Duncan grow and mature; I'm constantly amazed by his vocabulary, his creativity, his imagination, and his outside-the-box thinking. Although he seems to us slow to develop independence in daily chores like getting dressed and putting away his toys, life does get a bit easier with each passing day that he is able to do more things without us. Nevertheless, I can't help but be aware that each of those developments also represents another step away from us. I revel in all that he can do but hope we are creating the kind of ties that will enable him always to be my sweet baby boy. Thank you all for sharing with us.  Happy Birthday Duncan; I love you to the universe and back.